Sunday, September 9, 2012
My family and I have somewhat of a September-May relationship with church. As in, we start going in September when Sunday School starts and ends in May when Sunday school is over. We don't go much, if at all, in the summer months. Well, today was Rally Sunday and the start of Sunday School again and so I was in church again today.
I had several "ah-ha" moments. First, a friend of mine spoke about Small Groups starting up. She explained how she had gone through a lot of things in her life without small groups, but two years ago she joined one and shortly after her infant son passed away. She knew the Holy Spirit was there, gently guiding her to that Small Group because it was those women that she turned to first in her time of need. Had she not gone, she never would have met them, and wouldn't have had the support of them during that most difficult time.
Then, the sermon talked about opening yourself up to God. At the very end, the pastor talked about not missing the gifts God shows us every day. Then, "if most of your interactions are online or on Facebook instead of in person you're missing something". That hit home. Most of my interactions ARE on Facebook. I don't have many friends at all. My husband's PTSD issues have sucked a lot out of me and for years I've been cocooned up, just trying to focus on my family and keep us going. As a result, many friendships have suffered and died. I really, REALLY want and need friends. I need girlfriends to call up and talk to. I looked in my phone the other day at my contacts. It was sad.....I have like 2 friends in there, the rest are family and I don't remember the last time I phoned those friends.
I need to make myself more available and be a friend to get a friend. I need to open myself up to the gifts out there and look at things in a more positive light. I'm not kidding myself.....My husband still has major issues, my marriage is still sucky, and my life is chaotic and not so happy. However, I can choose to look at things in a different light. I can choose to make myself more available to friends, to give more to the world.
For starters, I'm going to join a Small Group at church. I'll figure out child care, but I'm committing. Also, I'm going to get out of my comfort zone and reach out to others. I'm not the only one who has worries and stress and troubles. I need to remember that, and see how I can help others. I think by doing so, others will help me.