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Saturday, April 27, 2013

parenting is so hard

I love being a mother.  That being said, it's damn hard.  My oldest, in particular, is exceptionally difficult.  When she was born she had some health concerns and I remember praying when she was in the NICU that she would grow up to be strong.  Well, she is definitely strong-willed and bull headed that is for sure.

I feel guilty but sometimes she drives me crazy.  She has an issue of wetting her pants because she is too caught up in stuff to go.  Not cool.  We have been to urologists, psychologists, and psychiatrists and  nothing has worked.  FYI - she also has ADHD which is the reason for the psychiatrist.  However, nothing has helped.  she wets her pants or will drip and then she smells.  Oh God, the smell.   My husband and I are at our whits ends.  It usually ends up with us yelling at her, and that doesn't help anything.

In addition to the pants wetting, she is also extremely sassy.  It's like a 17 year old trapped in a child's body.  If this is what she is like now, God help me when she's a teenager.

I heard once that if kids are difficult as babies they will be easier as teenagers and vice versa.  I really hope that smoother sailing is ahead for us because right now I want to rip my hair out in frustration.


Tuesday, April 2, 2013

A new appreciation

Things have been good around here.  In fact, things have been downright pleasant.  Even though the whole gall bladder surgery was a real pain in the ass (and stomach and side and back) I think the whole experience has brought Hubs and I closer together.  I think it did him good to see me laid up in the hospital and him be in charge of the kids and dog and house all by himself.  It made him realize how much I do.  In turn, I really started to appreciate everything he was doing while I was in the hospital.

Even after I was discharged, he continued to amaze me.  He has been really good about picking up the slack because I'm not supposed to lift anything over 10 pounds.  In fact, he yells at me when he sees me carrying our toddler around.  I tried to explain that I don't carry him that much and I carry him on my left hip.....opposite side of all my incisions.  But still he yells and I like it.

It means he cares.

One of the big things I noticed while I was in the hospital was his comments on facebook.  He left numerous posts about how he hated seeing me in pain; How he missed me.  He posted about how much he loved me and wished I wasn't in pain.  

That was HUGE. This is a guy who does not show emotion very much at all.  This is the guy who doesn't like me to even sit by him on the couch or hug him because it makes him uncomfortable.  For him to say all that, and then be so sweet and loving when I got home has been amazing.

We haven't argued in 2 weeks, which for us is huge.  We have been so used to having little spats and those have pretty much disappeared.  I'm not dumb.   I know that at some point this honeymoon period will go away and we will argue again.  But then again, maybe not.  Maybe this hospitalization was just what we needed to realize what we meant to each other.  I know I appreciate him more and I think he appreciates me more also.

Whatever it is, I'll take it.  And when things get bumpy down the road I'll try to remember this time and everything we've gone through because we definitely love each other and this surgery has brought out the good in both of us.

Thanks crappy gallbladder and stupid pancreas.  You faulty organs have helped my marriage more than any therapist has!