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Sunday, October 28, 2012

Wish I had gone into Photography!

Last Saturday I took the kids to get their photos taken at a local park.   The photographer is a friend of a friend and a Navy wife.  I went to a wedding over the summer and she was the photographer and since my little man turned one recently, I decided I REALLY needed to get some more pictures of him up on my walls.  When my daughter was born, I faithfully took her every three months to JC Penney to get her pictures taken.  This time around, I have been so lax about it.  He had pictures professionally taken when he was three months old and that's it.

Sooooo, Saturday was a big day.  Kellie took some WONDERFUL pictures.  I just got the email tonight that the proofs were ready and I've been browsing them.  They are SO GOOD!  I am having a hard time choosing exactly which pictures I want.  Having pictures professionally taken by a photographer (think NO chain stores like JCP or Sears) isn't exactly cheap.  Even with my military discount she gave me, it was a hefty price just for the session.  Now I have to pay more to get the proofs or pay $100 for a CD of the images and THEN pay more for the proofs I want from the CD.  It can very quickly add up.

It'd be easier if most of them sucked.  If there was only one or two good ones then i would know right away which ones to order.  However, she got quite a few great shots of my son, my daughter, and the two of them together.  I know I want a large print of the two of them together, and then several of my son, and one of my daughter by herself.  Then of course, the grandparents and aunts want pictures.  I'm like AHHHHHH!

I am kicking myself that I did not go into photography.  What a really great career to go into!  You get the privilege of taking pictures of people, of making memories for them of that instant in time.  There's creativity involved in getting the right shot, the editing process, yadda yadda.....Plus, there's versatility because you're your own boss.  You decide when you want to book a session with someone.

However, even as I think this....I'm not sure I'd want to go into it at this point in my life.  I'd have to get a really nice camera and take the classes.....While I like the idea, im just not sure I'd be good at it.  So, I guess I'll let the professionals do it and I'll stick with snapping shots on my Iphone or my Droid.

In the meantime.....How am I supposed to pick from all the gorgeous prints of my bambinos?????

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Happy birthday to me!


Today is my birthday.

As far as my birthdays go, this one was actually pretty decent.   It's been unseasonably nice lately so last night I went to sleep with the windows open and so it was delightful waking up this morning to a nice breeze blowing in through the window.    Then, I went and got a coffee from Caribou Coffee.  I was in such a good mood I decided to do a Random Act of Kindness and buy the coffee for the guy behind me in the drive through.  I hope he enjoyed it!

Work was pretty good.  My students were kind of antsy.  Is it a full moon?  Perhaps the fact that tomorrow are the Halloween parties?  Not sure but either way, they may have been ornery but they weren't bad.

One of the best things about today though......My husband told me Happy Birthday......unprompted!   This is a big deal.  Hubs and I don't make a big deal out of birthdays for each other.  I would like to make more out of them, but Hubs just doesn't.  In birthdays past, it's been known that I have gone without a happy birthday from him.  Usually he will say it after I prompt him, or the kids will tell him.  Either way.....doesn't feel too special when you have to ask to be told happy bday.   That's why this was so nice today.  He came up and put his arm around me and told me Happy Birthday.  Short and sweet but I'll take it!

I think that's one of the most discouraging aspects of his PTSD; the fact that he is so detached from everyone and has such trouble showing affection.  I'm not a really super affectionate gal, but I love hugs and a kiss would be nice.  I want to feel appreciated, dammit!  Anyway, his small gesture, which to most people would be the bare bones of what you should do for your spouse on her birthday, was a huge gesture to me because he DOESN'T do them normally.

Anyone else's spouse like this?

Sunday, October 14, 2012

writing a book?

My aunt was a teacher.  She taught 4th grade for years and years and I adored her.  One of my favorite things to do was write stories on notebook paper and then mail them to her to read.  She would read them, and then....here's the best part....she would send it back with notes and encouragement.  I LOVED it!

I've always loved writing.  When I was a kid I would fill notebook after notebook with stories, poems, and an occasional illustration or two.  I had dreams of becoming a writer, of making it BIG.  I thought I was a pretty good writer.  Darn good, in fact.  However, looking back, perhaps my aunt just did a really good job of stroking my ego.  That said, I did always do well in English and have been told I have a knack for it.

So what happened?  I think life caught up with me.  I grew up and as the years went by the idea of being a professional writer sounded sillier and sillier.  Even now, I think maybe I should have pursued it.  Maybe gotten a degree in English and taught high school kids how to write essays properly and cite their sources.  Perhaps I would have gone on to publishing; moved to New York and become a huge success story in the publishing business.

Or not.

Even now I still secretly, in the back of my head, think that I would like to make it a career somehow.  They say you should write about something you know.  The obvious thing, to me, would be to write about PTSD and how it has affected my marriage, my kids, my life in general.  But I just don't know what route to take with that.  I feel like our story isn't done....how can I write an incomplete story?  I could tell our story so far....but wouldn't that cheat the reader at the end?  There's no ending yet.  I don't know how our PTSD story will end.  I am hopeful it will end with a happy ending, but who knows?

Still.....Something to think about.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Fall into Autumn

Autumn is probably my favorite time of year, for several reasons.  For one, I love the cooler temps.  There is nothing like throwing on a sweatshirt to run errands or cuddling up on the couch with a fire going on a cool Fall evening.  Fall is also home to the best sports!  Who doesn't love college football or watching some Monday Night Football?    Then there's the food!  Give me pumpkin pie, apple cider and apple donuts any day of the year and I'll be a happy camper.  To top it off, the scenery is gorgeous!  I love living in Wisconsin this time of year, with the leaves changing colors.  It's beautiful.

Yep, it's my favorite time of year, but it goes too quickly!  It doesn't help that the season is so short; you blink an eye and it's going to be winter.  However, it's also a season that seems to be full of appointments, activities, and things to do!  Today is actually the only Saturday in 6 weeks that I have nothing to do.  It's amazing to be sitting here in some scrubs and a hoodie and just chilling watching some Michigan football and listening to the rain fall outside.  All I need now is some hot chocolate or some apple cider and I'll be set!

So far, knock on wood, this season has also lacked some PTSD drama.  Even though it's my favorite time of year, it's also a time that is full of anniversaries for the Hubs. Usually from about October 1st until February, we are on pins and needles trying to avoid setting him off and giving him his space to help process and deal with the anniversaries.  I'm not sure why this year is different, but I'm going to take it while I can get it.  I'm sure we are just in the "dip" in the roller coaster that is PTSD.  But, like I said, I take it while I can and enjoy it while it lasts.