Thursday, May 10, 2012

take a chill pill

Do you know how many times I say to my husband, "just chillax." or "would you just relax, it's not that big of a deal".  I think I need to take my own advice.

I think this solo parenting is starting to get to me.  I've done so good, and I still do good, but with the added stress of my sister's issues and my daughter having some problems with attitude, I'm about ready to scream.  Seriously, she has morphed from an adorable 6 year old into a 6 year old with a 14 year old's attitude.  I'm not ready for that.....I mean, I need to build up to that.  Give me the Tween issues first, so I can prepare.  Ug.  The last few days have definitely not been shining examples of parenting.  It's left me yelling, swearing (Not at her, well....I did tell her Damn, but mostly to myself under my breathe), and this morning she mouthed off and I smacked her backside.  I felt awful and she carried on like I had broke a limb.  She is dramatic, but I felt horrible.

I am a good mom.  I love my kids.  Is it bad that I desperately want a vacation from them?  From this house?  From all the stress around me?  I remember back in December, my husband wanted to go to Aruba for a trip, just the two of us.  I said no.  I had a three month old and I was not leaving him, plus our 6 year old needed to be in school and a week's vacation to grandma's was out of the question.  I don't regret that decision to stay back, but man....I could sure go for that trip now.

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