rain

It's a rainy day today.  I woke up this morning at 6:45 when my baby boy decided to let me know he was hungry by screaming in his crib.  This kind of weather just makes me want to curl up with a good book.  Problem is, I can't!

It's tiring be a stay at home mom.  I got up this morning and took care of the kiddos, took out the trash for the garbage guys, fed the dog, the cat, and did some dishes.....all while my husband slept downstairs on the couch.  It is annoying, I won't lie.  I'd love to be able to sleep half the day away.  I went down there at 10 and tried to get him up and going....didn't work.  At 11am I went down and told him to get his ass up.  He told me to leave him alone.  I can't.  If I did he would still be down there now.

I know he's depressed, I know it's PTSD and not laziness.  It's still hard though.  I worry constantly about something happening to me.  If I died or was incapacitated, my kids would be screwed.  I told Hubs that today, and he told me he'd be able to take care of the kids.  Not sure how he would do that.  I don't know if, because I'm here, he lets all the work slide to me because he knows I'll take care of it.  Beats me, but it's scary.  He's a great dad, don't get me wrong....but it worries me.  Stuff like that.

Anyway, he's up now.  And maybe on that note, I will go take a nap.  haven't been feeling good lately and the baby is sleeping and my daughter is playing quietly in her room.

Off I go....to sleep in my bed, with the window open and the breeze coming in with the rain coming down gently.