Today has not been a good morning, to say the least. I woke up 10 minutes late and was running around trying to get our daughter ready for school. I was in the kitchen making her toast and realized my foot was wet. Looking down I realized I had stepped in cat crap. Oh yuck! not just any cat poop, but diarrhea. Double yuck. I looked around and saw puddles in the kitchen and then found a wet spot in the living room also on the carpet. Evidently my older cat, Polly, has the runs as well as the new kitten. Awesome.
I hurried up and picked her up and put her in the bathroom with the other one. She was leaking poo as I walked with her. I am guessing she must have gotten it from the kitten. Great. My husband started complaining about the costs of the cats (which really, our first cat has only cost us food and one shot a year....but this is going to be two vet visits in a week). I called the vet, and can't get her in til after work. I wish Hubs would have taken her this morning but there's no way he's dealing with the cat. In the meantime, they're both locked up in the bathroom sharing germs.
This was all before 8am. After getting our munchkin off to school, the arguing started. How we have no money, how he wants to file bankruptcy. I didn't have anything to say. I was upset because I used to be good at handling money situations but the toll of dealing with him has made me sloppy. I didnt want to talk. Sometimes, when you're that upset, you just don't want to talk about it. He doesn't get that. "Why are you mad at me? Why won't you talk to me?"
"I have nothing to say" (because I didn't).
Well after following me around asking me what was wrong we talked. Anything I say to him he takes personally so that's why I don't talk to him. Now he's laying in our bed with the covers pulled over him sulking. God forbid I cry or complain because then all of a sudden "You're just feeling sorry for yourself"
Well, you know what? Maybe I am! Why can't I feel sorry for myself? My life has not gone how I wanted it to at all. Most of the time I keep a stiff upper lip and carry on but dammit....Life sucks sometimes. And all I want to do is be able to vent. Can't complain to him though or he takes it as a personal attack. I tried talking to my mom on the phone but she goes all Pollyanna on me which annoys the shit out of me. I don't want to hear how "this too shall pass" or any other stupid sayings. When I call to complain, I just want to get it all out there, have her say, "i'm sorry, that does suck". Acknowledge that my life is hard sometimes!! This is why I don't call my mother often. She sticks in little sayings and paints it as a fleeting moment and then usually, then she goes into something similar she's going through. This morning I got to hear about how her dog has a scratched cornea and needs to go to the vet and how "I don't have money either, but animals love you unconditionally and we need to take care of them..." BARF!
Ok, now I need to go to work. Let's hope this day turns around!!