Monday, February 10, 2014

Blog or burst

I miss blogging.  There's something therapeutic about getting your thoughts down on paper.  It has to be healthier than keeping everything bottled up inside, and I am almost always trying to do exactly that.  

I try to keep it all together.  To the outside world, I try to appear as a cool, calm, and collected young mother and wife who has her crap together.  I smile and try to hide the chaos that is my life.   I hide it because I don't want to worry my loved ones.  What good would it do to get my parents or siblings worked up about my stressors?  It would probably do me good, actually.  Living with a wounded warrior day in and day out takes it's toll.  It would probably be very beneficial for me to have a great cry on my mom's shoulder or scream loudly in frustration to my sister just to get it out in the open. 

But, in reality.  I try so hard, so very hard, to keep my frustrations and sense of failure to myself.  I don't want to worry the ones I love.

And so.....I blog.  I blog to get it all out there because writing it out there in cyber space is better than keeping it inside.  If I get it out, then it's done.  I can reflect, and move on.  If i keep it locked away inside, it festers.  Festering is bad.

Life lately has been really, incredibly busy.  By the time I get the work done for the day, I'm ready to collapse into bed and fall asleep, usually by the early hour of 10pm.  Even now, it is going on 11:30 and I'm kicking myself because I still need to pack lunches for tomorrow for the kids and find a clean pair of jeans for me and instead I'm sitting here blogging.

But sometimes, you just gotta blog.

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