Have you ever seen those depression medication ads on TV? The ones where they discuss how living with depression affects everyone around you? Living with someone who has PTSD definitely affects everyone in the household and while I'm an adult and can deal with the roller coaster of emotions (most of the time!), my babies are not adults. They're just that......my babies. A recurring nightmare/worry I have is that living with someone who is
often mad, agitated, or withdrawn will have lasting negative affects on
my children.
Parenting is hard enough without having to throw that in the mix. For the most part, I think my kids are dealing with it okay. My youngest is just a toddler and I don't think it's really affected him much at all yet. Hubs is around our son more than I am, since I work outside the home and go to school and he stays home with him. Hubs does well with him.
He wasn't always so involved. When our daughter was our son's age she was living with her dad when he was at one of his lowest points. She was there when we went through the medical discharge of the Army and the subsequent "Hell Year" when Hubs wasn't receiving any assistance from the VA and was self medicating with alcohol and herbs. She was in the home when he kicked in doors to yell at me, and she witnessed him punching walls in frustration. My worry about her well being and psyche living with that turmoil is the largest reason I decided to split from my husband. For over a year I lived in my parents basement and he lived with his parents and our little baby girl was shuffled back and forth on weekends. It worked out in the end.....the separation forced him to take a good look at himself and decide if he wanted a family or not. It was due to that separation that he decided to seek residential help at the VA.
However, I worry that all that frustration and stress has had it's affect on my oldest child. My baby girl suffers from anxiety and has developed really poor social skills. It's been such a struggle with her lately. At our whit's end, we enrolled her in a day treatment program to help her focus on her anxiety. You see, my little baby girl has become a picker. She picks her skin, leaving open wounds on her arms, legs, and thighs. In addition to that, she also has some anger problems to address and it's been a real challenge living with her these last few months.
I think back.....when she was two, and Hubs was deployed, I had her evaluated for early speech. She didn't qualify. In addition to not qualifying (she was close), the evaluators also said she had great social skills and was advanced. So here it is, half a decade later, and she's gone from having advanced social skills to having very poor social skills. Is it my fault? Is it because she saw her dad suffer in those early years after he returned from war? Did she witness all the yelling, anger, and sadness and somehow internalize it into this?
I know I can't beat myself up over this. There's no way to reverse time and do things differently. I did what I did because I thought it was the best at the time for all involved. But it still hurts. And it still sucks...
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Monday, September 3, 2012
iPad goes splat
Well.....we don't have an iPad anymore. My daughter was obsessed with it, spending all her time on it playing silly, stupid apps. Hubs and I monitored her usage and we would put it up high but the little stinker would climb up and get it down. In my defense, originally she was only to play educational games on it.
Well, over the past 2 days she went on an app marathon totaling up.....get ready..........over $1000 in charges for apps such as "gems", "pet world" and "garden". Yes....over a grand on these things. We're not even sure how the hell she did that. Hubs caught it at first and took the code off the credit card and contacted Apple who agreed to take off $450 of the original $500 purchases she made. We had a long talk with her and thought all was good. Nope. She got ahold of it again and purchased $600 in apps. The apps she purchased, many were $50 apps so it escalated quickly. I don't know how she did it because the security code was off the credit card. Between you and me, I don't know why he didn't take the ENTIRE credit card info off....but it's sometimes hard to rationalize his thinking. So, Hubs cannot call Apple back and say "oopsie, please refund these charges too!" So, our darling daughter is in the dog house and we are stuck paying all that money. When Hubs found out about the second time, he went bezerk and ended up smashing the iPad to smithereens on the floor. Yeah.....mature, right? Once again, he said he "saw red" and his thinking was that if he destroyed the iPad then there would be no way she could do it again. Ahhhh, PTSD strikes again. Act first, think later......
Soooo, now we are without an iPad. The only real bummer (besides the fact that iPads are expensive and that was a dumb thing to do) is that I used the Kindle app a lot on there and ALL my books were on that thing. I don't want another iPad, our daughter is obviously addicted to technology and even without the credit card info on there at all, I'm over it.....the only time she is using a computer now is at school or when she's older to write reports! However, I do miss reading my books on the Kindle app. My birthday is in a few months, Hubs talked last night about getting me a new Kindle or a Nook from Barnes and Noble. That might be nice. Does anyone have either of those? Which do you prefer?
As for our daughter, she is learning the lesson of a dollar. No NOTHING for a long, long time. Yikes!
Well, over the past 2 days she went on an app marathon totaling up.....get ready..........over $1000 in charges for apps such as "gems", "pet world" and "garden". Yes....over a grand on these things. We're not even sure how the hell she did that. Hubs caught it at first and took the code off the credit card and contacted Apple who agreed to take off $450 of the original $500 purchases she made. We had a long talk with her and thought all was good. Nope. She got ahold of it again and purchased $600 in apps. The apps she purchased, many were $50 apps so it escalated quickly. I don't know how she did it because the security code was off the credit card. Between you and me, I don't know why he didn't take the ENTIRE credit card info off....but it's sometimes hard to rationalize his thinking. So, Hubs cannot call Apple back and say "oopsie, please refund these charges too!" So, our darling daughter is in the dog house and we are stuck paying all that money. When Hubs found out about the second time, he went bezerk and ended up smashing the iPad to smithereens on the floor. Yeah.....mature, right? Once again, he said he "saw red" and his thinking was that if he destroyed the iPad then there would be no way she could do it again. Ahhhh, PTSD strikes again. Act first, think later......
Soooo, now we are without an iPad. The only real bummer (besides the fact that iPads are expensive and that was a dumb thing to do) is that I used the Kindle app a lot on there and ALL my books were on that thing. I don't want another iPad, our daughter is obviously addicted to technology and even without the credit card info on there at all, I'm over it.....the only time she is using a computer now is at school or when she's older to write reports! However, I do miss reading my books on the Kindle app. My birthday is in a few months, Hubs talked last night about getting me a new Kindle or a Nook from Barnes and Noble. That might be nice. Does anyone have either of those? Which do you prefer?
As for our daughter, she is learning the lesson of a dollar. No NOTHING for a long, long time. Yikes!
Monday, July 23, 2012
The kids
My little baby boy is almost 10 months old. It seems like only yesterday I was sitting at the kitchen table with my feet up because my ankles were so swollen they were disgusting. Time sure does fly sometimes. Just the other day he fit so well into my hands and was so teeny tiny. Now the little munchkin is crawling all over the place and he's been pulling himself up on everything. Yesterday he walked around the coffee table and around the couch by holding onto the furniture. Yikes, not sure I'm ready for walking yet. In fact, I know I'm not!
Then there's my baby girl. She's been through so much, including the time in our lives when Hubby wasn't receiving any help from the VA. She has had to see a lot, go through a lot. I've tried to shield her, but I'm sure it's affected her....how could it not? She's such a trooper though. She's definitely got the sassy attitude....wonder where she got that? Lol. She's very artistic and I just can't wait to see what awesome things she continues to accomplish as she gets older.
Sometimes, all the time I worry about how all this PTSD crap is going to affect my kids. Will they grow up thinking that this environment is normal? I sure hope not. I pray that they aren't going to need years of therapy and blame their mom for staying in an environment that isn't always probably the healthiest. There's no abuse here, let me be clear. It's just.....well......Our household is not really a happy one. Hubs is depressed all the time. I'm stressed out majority of the time. How did we get here? This is definitely NOT how I envisioned raising my kids. I always wanted a very involved husband, and I always pictured us being very outgoing and taking our kids lots of places and having the Donna Reed type home where everything is happy happy. Well, I'm not Donna Reed and he is definitely no whatever-Donna-Reed's-husband-was-called.
We do try though. Even though Hubs is depressed all the time, he does try to put on a happy face for the kids. We don't do as much outside the home as other families, but we do get out on outings like the local zoo, we take our daughter to the movies and I try to have a few playdates for her. Even through all that though....there are days that I'm just too exhausted by the end of the day to make a great home-cooked meal for her. My family eats more take-out and hotdogs than I'd care to admit.....but my kids are clean, fed, and they are loved. Yes they are.
I hope they know how much we love them. I think they do. I hope that in the end, they grow up realizing that their dad did his best, and that he was a good dad, despite, or perhaps in spite of his fog of depression and anxiety. I hope they grow up knowing their mom shielded them as best she could from the brunt of his irrational mood swings and anxiety-driven rages. I think they'll grow up maybe a little older than their years, maybe with a little more weight on their shoulders than they should have had to have bared. But.....Above all else, I hope they know that their mom and dad did their best. That they love them, that they want the best for them, and that we would do anything for them.
I think they will.
Then there's my baby girl. She's been through so much, including the time in our lives when Hubby wasn't receiving any help from the VA. She has had to see a lot, go through a lot. I've tried to shield her, but I'm sure it's affected her....how could it not? She's such a trooper though. She's definitely got the sassy attitude....wonder where she got that? Lol. She's very artistic and I just can't wait to see what awesome things she continues to accomplish as she gets older.
We do try though. Even though Hubs is depressed all the time, he does try to put on a happy face for the kids. We don't do as much outside the home as other families, but we do get out on outings like the local zoo, we take our daughter to the movies and I try to have a few playdates for her. Even through all that though....there are days that I'm just too exhausted by the end of the day to make a great home-cooked meal for her. My family eats more take-out and hotdogs than I'd care to admit.....but my kids are clean, fed, and they are loved. Yes they are.
I hope they know how much we love them. I think they do. I hope that in the end, they grow up realizing that their dad did his best, and that he was a good dad, despite, or perhaps in spite of his fog of depression and anxiety. I hope they grow up knowing their mom shielded them as best she could from the brunt of his irrational mood swings and anxiety-driven rages. I think they'll grow up maybe a little older than their years, maybe with a little more weight on their shoulders than they should have had to have bared. But.....Above all else, I hope they know that their mom and dad did their best. That they love them, that they want the best for them, and that we would do anything for them.
I think they will.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
take a chill pill
Do you know how many times I say to my husband, "just chillax." or "would you just relax, it's not that big of a deal". I think I need to take my own advice.
I think this solo parenting is starting to get to me. I've done so good, and I still do good, but with the added stress of my sister's issues and my daughter having some problems with attitude, I'm about ready to scream. Seriously, she has morphed from an adorable 6 year old into a 6 year old with a 14 year old's attitude. I'm not ready for that.....I mean, I need to build up to that. Give me the Tween issues first, so I can prepare. Ug. The last few days have definitely not been shining examples of parenting. It's left me yelling, swearing (Not at her, well....I did tell her Damn, but mostly to myself under my breathe), and this morning she mouthed off and I smacked her backside. I felt awful and she carried on like I had broke a limb. She is dramatic, but I felt horrible.
I am a good mom. I love my kids. Is it bad that I desperately want a vacation from them? From this house? From all the stress around me? I remember back in December, my husband wanted to go to Aruba for a trip, just the two of us. I said no. I had a three month old and I was not leaving him, plus our 6 year old needed to be in school and a week's vacation to grandma's was out of the question. I don't regret that decision to stay back, but man....I could sure go for that trip now.
I think this solo parenting is starting to get to me. I've done so good, and I still do good, but with the added stress of my sister's issues and my daughter having some problems with attitude, I'm about ready to scream. Seriously, she has morphed from an adorable 6 year old into a 6 year old with a 14 year old's attitude. I'm not ready for that.....I mean, I need to build up to that. Give me the Tween issues first, so I can prepare. Ug. The last few days have definitely not been shining examples of parenting. It's left me yelling, swearing (Not at her, well....I did tell her Damn, but mostly to myself under my breathe), and this morning she mouthed off and I smacked her backside. I felt awful and she carried on like I had broke a limb. She is dramatic, but I felt horrible.
I am a good mom. I love my kids. Is it bad that I desperately want a vacation from them? From this house? From all the stress around me? I remember back in December, my husband wanted to go to Aruba for a trip, just the two of us. I said no. I had a three month old and I was not leaving him, plus our 6 year old needed to be in school and a week's vacation to grandma's was out of the question. I don't regret that decision to stay back, but man....I could sure go for that trip now.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
This week is kinda sucking, gotta say
I'm so over this week and it's only halfway through.
It started off okay until yesterday. I got the daughter up 15 minutes early and guess what? She missed the freaking bus. I was so mad, livid is a good word to use to describe how pissed off I was. I think it was the fact that I got her up EARLY and she still piddled around. I kept telling her to hurry up and counting down til the bus came. We were so close. All she had to do was slide on her shoes and run out the front door and she would have made it. Unfortunately, she did not put her shoes away the night before and I hadn't been home at the time to look where she had thrown them. So, as a result, an extra minute was spent hunting up shoes. I found a pair of black mary janes in the kitchen and tossed them at her telling her to hurry. Just then, I heard the distinctive roar of the engine coming up the hill. Too late.
To say she got an earful is an understatement.
Then, this morning I again got her up 15 minutes early. She takes a shower in the am because otherwise her hair is crazy and she wants to be Ms. Independent and brush it herself. If she does that she often goes to school looking like a lost child with bushy hair. Anyway, got her up, went in to start the shower. Realized then that the little screw that makes it go from coming out the spout to coming out the shower head had broken. This wasted precious minutes. Finally after trying with no luck for about 5 minutes she went and took a shower in the other bathroom.
She still barely made it on the bus. I got her out there at 7:47 and the bus comes at 7:50. I shut the door behind her and breathed a sigh of relief until I heard her at the door. "Mom, where's my gloves? My hands are cold"
Shit. she usually has a pair in her backpack but she must have chucked those somewhere too. I opened the door and threw her thicker coat at her with pockets (she was wearing a rain coat because it's supposed to rain all day).
"RUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!" I bellowed at her, and just then the bus made the corner. She took off and BARELY made it.
I need a drink, and i'm not even a drinker.
It started off okay until yesterday. I got the daughter up 15 minutes early and guess what? She missed the freaking bus. I was so mad, livid is a good word to use to describe how pissed off I was. I think it was the fact that I got her up EARLY and she still piddled around. I kept telling her to hurry up and counting down til the bus came. We were so close. All she had to do was slide on her shoes and run out the front door and she would have made it. Unfortunately, she did not put her shoes away the night before and I hadn't been home at the time to look where she had thrown them. So, as a result, an extra minute was spent hunting up shoes. I found a pair of black mary janes in the kitchen and tossed them at her telling her to hurry. Just then, I heard the distinctive roar of the engine coming up the hill. Too late.
To say she got an earful is an understatement.
Then, this morning I again got her up 15 minutes early. She takes a shower in the am because otherwise her hair is crazy and she wants to be Ms. Independent and brush it herself. If she does that she often goes to school looking like a lost child with bushy hair. Anyway, got her up, went in to start the shower. Realized then that the little screw that makes it go from coming out the spout to coming out the shower head had broken. This wasted precious minutes. Finally after trying with no luck for about 5 minutes she went and took a shower in the other bathroom.
She still barely made it on the bus. I got her out there at 7:47 and the bus comes at 7:50. I shut the door behind her and breathed a sigh of relief until I heard her at the door. "Mom, where's my gloves? My hands are cold"
Shit. she usually has a pair in her backpack but she must have chucked those somewhere too. I opened the door and threw her thicker coat at her with pockets (she was wearing a rain coat because it's supposed to rain all day).
"RUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!" I bellowed at her, and just then the bus made the corner. She took off and BARELY made it.
I need a drink, and i'm not even a drinker.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Missed it
It's happened. She missed the bus. Missed it on the day I got her up 15 minutes EARLY!
AAARRRRGHHH!!
AAARRRRGHHH!!
Saturday, April 21, 2012
soccer mom
I am now a soccer mom.
Growing up, in my tiny little town, soccer was not one of the choices of rec sports. Pretty much, when I was her age, the choice was T-ball or nothing. I did try T-ball. My dad loves baseball and played it all the way through school so it was in my genes.
Not.
I stunk at it. I did manage to make it through T-ball to Coach pitch softball. Yes, the coach is the one that throws the softball to the players. Anyway, I remember standing behind the coach so I couldn't see the ball. Yes, stupid on my part. Well, the girl at bat nailed that ball, the coach jumped out of the way and I got bashed in the chin by the softball. I remember my dad coming and carrying me off the field. That was the end of sports for me.
Our daughter tried T-ball too. I felt it was kind of a right of passage in youth. After all, baseball is America's pastime. Well, she liked it about as well as I did. After last season I told her she didn't have to play it anymore, she had tried. Which brought the question of what now? Even though I was not sporty at all, I value what sports can do for a kid. Boost the confidence, great exercise, team socializing, etc. So, i was happy that she kept going back to wanting to try soccer.
This was her first week. Practice on Wednesday was brutal. Some of these kids have been playing since the womb, I think. You could tell there were some very serious players out there. Out daughter has no experience with soccer except for what she has done in PE class. She was so excited though! She chased that ball and did all the warmups and stuff. The last half of practice they had a little mini scrimmage. She did pretty good. Afterwards she fell down, exhausted, onto the grass. "I am so exhausted and hot, but that was so. much. fun!"
Last night was her first game. Her dad was in a snit about something and I told him if he was going to be a turd, don't even bother coming home for the weekend. I didn't want to sour her first experience. But, he came and was decent. It was frickin freezing out. The in-laws drove up to watch and my mother-in-law ended up staying in the car with the baby because she was cold. Our kid got nailed in the face with a soccer ball before the game even started. I blame the coach. He had them doing drills to kick the ball into the net, and she was getting her ball after kicking it and some kid kicked it and she got it right in the face. I was afraid her nose had broke. It didn't help that with the cold, things hurt more. But, no blood, no broken teeth and her nose wasn't broke so back in she went! She was a little skittish the game and didnt want to get too close to the ball after getting hit like that. But, I think she is a natural!
So there ya go, I'm a soccer mom. I just need the minivan to go with it. Oh wait, no minivan. Not quite ready for that!
Growing up, in my tiny little town, soccer was not one of the choices of rec sports. Pretty much, when I was her age, the choice was T-ball or nothing. I did try T-ball. My dad loves baseball and played it all the way through school so it was in my genes.
Not.
I stunk at it. I did manage to make it through T-ball to Coach pitch softball. Yes, the coach is the one that throws the softball to the players. Anyway, I remember standing behind the coach so I couldn't see the ball. Yes, stupid on my part. Well, the girl at bat nailed that ball, the coach jumped out of the way and I got bashed in the chin by the softball. I remember my dad coming and carrying me off the field. That was the end of sports for me.
Our daughter tried T-ball too. I felt it was kind of a right of passage in youth. After all, baseball is America's pastime. Well, she liked it about as well as I did. After last season I told her she didn't have to play it anymore, she had tried. Which brought the question of what now? Even though I was not sporty at all, I value what sports can do for a kid. Boost the confidence, great exercise, team socializing, etc. So, i was happy that she kept going back to wanting to try soccer.
This was her first week. Practice on Wednesday was brutal. Some of these kids have been playing since the womb, I think. You could tell there were some very serious players out there. Out daughter has no experience with soccer except for what she has done in PE class. She was so excited though! She chased that ball and did all the warmups and stuff. The last half of practice they had a little mini scrimmage. She did pretty good. Afterwards she fell down, exhausted, onto the grass. "I am so exhausted and hot, but that was so. much. fun!"
Last night was her first game. Her dad was in a snit about something and I told him if he was going to be a turd, don't even bother coming home for the weekend. I didn't want to sour her first experience. But, he came and was decent. It was frickin freezing out. The in-laws drove up to watch and my mother-in-law ended up staying in the car with the baby because she was cold. Our kid got nailed in the face with a soccer ball before the game even started. I blame the coach. He had them doing drills to kick the ball into the net, and she was getting her ball after kicking it and some kid kicked it and she got it right in the face. I was afraid her nose had broke. It didn't help that with the cold, things hurt more. But, no blood, no broken teeth and her nose wasn't broke so back in she went! She was a little skittish the game and didnt want to get too close to the ball after getting hit like that. But, I think she is a natural!
So there ya go, I'm a soccer mom. I just need the minivan to go with it. Oh wait, no minivan. Not quite ready for that!
Thursday, March 15, 2012
The School Bus Dash
Every morning I am amazed that I get our daughter on the bus in time.
It's no small feat. She has one speed these days, and it's sloooooow. I've tried getting her up 15 minutes earlier, but she adjusts for that and seems to go into extra pokey those days. It drives me crazy, yet she is unfazed by it all, even with her mother bellowing at her to hurry up.
Daughter is 6 and in Kindergarten. She gets up an hour before the bus comes. Should be plenty of time, right? I do make her take a shower in the mornings. We used to do it at night but she has horrible bed head and doesn't like me brushing her hair. It was a power struggle most mornings (when we don't have time!!!!) and she often ended up going to school looking like a little ragamuffin with her hair. So, we implemented the morning shower routine.
It theory, it works out lovely. She hops in the shower, I take the dog out and lay out her breakfast while she's in there and we end up with lots of time. However, it never works that way. For starters, she LOVES to take a long shower. I am constantly in there, "hurry up, the bus is coming" and "2 more minutes". After the two minutes I've been known to turn off the shower, but the little bugger turns it right back on or has a headful of shampoo. It doesn't matter how much I prompt, or yell, or harp.....she goes her own speed.
The shower ends up taking the most time, but eating breakfast is another time waster. She eats her cereal so slowly! I've tried other foods to hurry her along. Foods like poptarts, toast; but she eats them all with the same slow pace.
The end result is me usually grabbing her arm and hauling her into the bathroom with 5 minutes to go before the bus is due, to brush her hair while she brushes her teeth. Then I drag her into the living room and she jams on her shoes and complains about putting on a coat (it's not summer yet, and YES you still need a coat. I don't care what xxx mother says or what xxx does, you're wearing one!) Lastly, I kiss her on the head and boot her out the door just as the school bus is pulling up.
It exhausts me every day. Although we haven't missed the bus yet, I know it's coming. And I dread it.
It's no small feat. She has one speed these days, and it's sloooooow. I've tried getting her up 15 minutes earlier, but she adjusts for that and seems to go into extra pokey those days. It drives me crazy, yet she is unfazed by it all, even with her mother bellowing at her to hurry up.
Daughter is 6 and in Kindergarten. She gets up an hour before the bus comes. Should be plenty of time, right? I do make her take a shower in the mornings. We used to do it at night but she has horrible bed head and doesn't like me brushing her hair. It was a power struggle most mornings (when we don't have time!!!!) and she often ended up going to school looking like a little ragamuffin with her hair. So, we implemented the morning shower routine.
It theory, it works out lovely. She hops in the shower, I take the dog out and lay out her breakfast while she's in there and we end up with lots of time. However, it never works that way. For starters, she LOVES to take a long shower. I am constantly in there, "hurry up, the bus is coming" and "2 more minutes". After the two minutes I've been known to turn off the shower, but the little bugger turns it right back on or has a headful of shampoo. It doesn't matter how much I prompt, or yell, or harp.....she goes her own speed.
The shower ends up taking the most time, but eating breakfast is another time waster. She eats her cereal so slowly! I've tried other foods to hurry her along. Foods like poptarts, toast; but she eats them all with the same slow pace.
The end result is me usually grabbing her arm and hauling her into the bathroom with 5 minutes to go before the bus is due, to brush her hair while she brushes her teeth. Then I drag her into the living room and she jams on her shoes and complains about putting on a coat (it's not summer yet, and YES you still need a coat. I don't care what xxx mother says or what xxx does, you're wearing one!) Lastly, I kiss her on the head and boot her out the door just as the school bus is pulling up.
It exhausts me every day. Although we haven't missed the bus yet, I know it's coming. And I dread it.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Some people!
It may seem hard to believe, but I am not a confrontational person. I am a pretty laid-back person, generally speaking, and I don't like drama unless it's on tv and I'm watching it on the couch in my sweats. However, drama seems to find me. The latest drama involves my little girl and her girl scout leader.
This girl scout leader and I are in frequent contact because both our girls are in the same class and play together. We get along, they get along. I see her twice a month when I pick up the daughter from girl scouts. In fact, a week ago this past Monday, I spent several hours with this lady picking up hundreds of girl scout cookies and sorting them for delivery. Never once has she brought up any concerns about our girls.
So imagine my shock when I receive a nasty little email from her last night. In it, she blasts my daughter for being mean to hers. She also CC two other people, a mom I don't know and the teacher. She then goes on to say that she has her daughter "M" there sitting next to her so she can help her remember all the wrongs my daughter has done. Some examples are:
1. M and a little boy were holding hands on the playground and my daughter evidently walked up behind them and "sliced" their hands apart.
Okay.....really? That's what kids do.
2. M and my daughter were walking together and this little boy walked up behind them and my daughter told him it was girl time.
again, okay.....
3. My daughter evidently sings songs at recess using the words poop and the dreaded "s" word. No, not that word.......stupid.
This one, i totally see. She has been caught at home singing about poop. Not sure why, but this seems like tattling to me. And the "s" word???? I was concerned til I saw it was S for stupid.
She also said in the email that my daughter is a liar. That really pissed me off. First of all, she's not and second, why are you telling this in an email to other people? What the hell? Her example of my daughter's lying though is somewhat comical:
"At the valentine's day party, M came up to me and told me she had won bingo twice. Your daughter then came running up and said that she had won 4 times"
Maybe she did bitch.
I was so livid. I ended up contacting the classroom teacher and the teacher said she didn't see these behaviors and she was aware that this little boy and M do tend to leave people out. I replied back to the girl scout leader mom, letting her know that, and that I wish she had just come to me instead of emailing people. There's an event next weekend and my daughter was going to ride with M and her mom. At the end of the email, I said we would make sure she got there and she wouldn't need a ride anymore. Well, psycho-mom replies back that I was attacking her parenting and calling her irresponsible and that maybe I should look for a different troop for my daughter.
I tried calling her, but she wouldn't answer. yeah, it's really easy to shoot off emails attacking people but you can't pick up a phone and talk about it, can ya? Anyway, I emailed her back and let her know that if she was going to treat my daughter differently then yes, she would be moved. And that I was not attacking her parenting style at all.
She replied back one more time.....stating that she would never treat my daughter differently and she only suggested that because I seemed to be questioning her ability.
She never once acknowledged the fact that her daughter is also part of the problem. She also never apologized for emailing or involving others. In fact, she told me she was glad I had talked to the teacher and "got it all sorted out". Yeah, i sorted out the fact that your daughter is a whiney wuss who runs home to mommy and that you're an overprotective witch of a woman who doesn't understand 6 year olds.
I find it almost comical now, how idiotic this lady is. I've decided to let it go. I have vented to several people and I've talked about it to a friend of mine whose daughter is in a troop in the neighboring town. If my daughter starts coming home complaining about the leader at girl scouts, then shit will hit the fan. I've decided to keep her in because the lady does do an awful lot with the troop and finds awesome things for them to do, and there are several girls from my daughter's class in the troop.
I just don't get it. Some people have no clue how to tactfully bring up something. She went about it all wrong and in the end, it helped no one. All she accomplished was making me upset, making herself look like a fool, and letting her classroom teacher in on what kind of person she really is.
One word for this lady. Whack-a-doo
This girl scout leader and I are in frequent contact because both our girls are in the same class and play together. We get along, they get along. I see her twice a month when I pick up the daughter from girl scouts. In fact, a week ago this past Monday, I spent several hours with this lady picking up hundreds of girl scout cookies and sorting them for delivery. Never once has she brought up any concerns about our girls.
So imagine my shock when I receive a nasty little email from her last night. In it, she blasts my daughter for being mean to hers. She also CC two other people, a mom I don't know and the teacher. She then goes on to say that she has her daughter "M" there sitting next to her so she can help her remember all the wrongs my daughter has done. Some examples are:
1. M and a little boy were holding hands on the playground and my daughter evidently walked up behind them and "sliced" their hands apart.
Okay.....really? That's what kids do.
2. M and my daughter were walking together and this little boy walked up behind them and my daughter told him it was girl time.
again, okay.....
3. My daughter evidently sings songs at recess using the words poop and the dreaded "s" word. No, not that word.......stupid.
This one, i totally see. She has been caught at home singing about poop. Not sure why, but this seems like tattling to me. And the "s" word???? I was concerned til I saw it was S for stupid.
She also said in the email that my daughter is a liar. That really pissed me off. First of all, she's not and second, why are you telling this in an email to other people? What the hell? Her example of my daughter's lying though is somewhat comical:
"At the valentine's day party, M came up to me and told me she had won bingo twice. Your daughter then came running up and said that she had won 4 times"
Maybe she did bitch.
I was so livid. I ended up contacting the classroom teacher and the teacher said she didn't see these behaviors and she was aware that this little boy and M do tend to leave people out. I replied back to the girl scout leader mom, letting her know that, and that I wish she had just come to me instead of emailing people. There's an event next weekend and my daughter was going to ride with M and her mom. At the end of the email, I said we would make sure she got there and she wouldn't need a ride anymore. Well, psycho-mom replies back that I was attacking her parenting and calling her irresponsible and that maybe I should look for a different troop for my daughter.
I tried calling her, but she wouldn't answer. yeah, it's really easy to shoot off emails attacking people but you can't pick up a phone and talk about it, can ya? Anyway, I emailed her back and let her know that if she was going to treat my daughter differently then yes, she would be moved. And that I was not attacking her parenting style at all.
She replied back one more time.....stating that she would never treat my daughter differently and she only suggested that because I seemed to be questioning her ability.
She never once acknowledged the fact that her daughter is also part of the problem. She also never apologized for emailing or involving others. In fact, she told me she was glad I had talked to the teacher and "got it all sorted out". Yeah, i sorted out the fact that your daughter is a whiney wuss who runs home to mommy and that you're an overprotective witch of a woman who doesn't understand 6 year olds.
I find it almost comical now, how idiotic this lady is. I've decided to let it go. I have vented to several people and I've talked about it to a friend of mine whose daughter is in a troop in the neighboring town. If my daughter starts coming home complaining about the leader at girl scouts, then shit will hit the fan. I've decided to keep her in because the lady does do an awful lot with the troop and finds awesome things for them to do, and there are several girls from my daughter's class in the troop.
I just don't get it. Some people have no clue how to tactfully bring up something. She went about it all wrong and in the end, it helped no one. All she accomplished was making me upset, making herself look like a fool, and letting her classroom teacher in on what kind of person she really is.
One word for this lady. Whack-a-doo
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